One problem with grief is the fear that the intense pain will last forever. They even had an altar call for those who needed to confess this sin. Following my Shepherd through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, It’s No Sin To Grieve – thelifeididntchoose, Repost: Grief is NOT Sin – thelifeididntchoose, Grief and Holidays:What the Bereaved Need From Friends and Family. I wrestle with the “why, why my son” a lot. Isaiah 57:15 For thus declares the high and exalted One who dwells forever, whose Name is set-apart, “I dwell in the high and set-apart place, with him who has a bruised and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of bruised ones. Jesus has transformed believers’ grief into a vehicle toward hope, since the climax of Jesus’ grief became the turning point of the human story. When we disobey, grief over our sin, can prevent further sin in the future. "—Mark 3:5. There are a lot of posts on questions, trust, faith that can be found by using then” search” function on the blog. Sadness is not sin. Required fields are marked *. While it is possible to dishonor God by allowing our grief to give way to unbelief and bitterness toward God (which is sin), we don’t have to respond that way. Her bottom half is that of an olive gr… The quickest and most consistent way to grieve over our sin is by seeing Jesus for who he is and the worthy life he calls us to live. It is quite the sacrifice to praise God for what Joni Eareckson Tada calls a “bruising of a blessing”. ❤️, The other example I often think of is Jesus crying at Lazarus’ tomb. Living God's Way—Pastor, Author, and Conference Speaker, June 2, 2016 by Scott LaPierre 7 Comments. These examples of grief over sin are far from the only ones in Scripture. So I contended with them and cursed them, struck some of them and pulled out their hair, and made them swear by God, saying, “You shall not give your daughters as wives to their sons, nor take their daughters for your sons or yourselves.”. (I Thessalonians 4:13). For if God spared not the angels that sinned, but cast them down to hell, and delivered them into chains of darkness…. I am so, so sorry this was your experience. Filed Under: Trials and Suffering Tagged With: jesus, prayer, sin. But the road is straight, hot, dusty, narrow, and lonely sometimes. The gospel tells us that sin grieves God so it should grieve us, too (sin committed by us, sin committed against us, and the various effects of sin). The Man of Sorrows became acquainted with grief (Isa. I am sobbing while reading this. 1. Your words touch me so deeply each and every time. It’s one of the enemy’s favorite lies. We lost our son 5 weeks ago. This example might surprise you. It is so cold here and the wind is awful. Hector we love you, Mom and Dad, Your email address will not be published. Once again they started intermarrying with the surrounding people. He certainly had hope. Considering the terrible sins David committed, we might wonder why God would refer to him this way. The processes of mourning follow the basic brain principles for change in top-down cortical mappings. Grief is part of life. We are made of dust and it cannot be otherwise. Forgiveness only comes from what Jesus has done, and not from anything we could do. Have you buried a child? My son died in 2017 and I lost my husband of 47 years two years later… half of my family You speak to my heart through every post. We are not happy until we find relief in confessing that sin and getting rid of it. It is no sacrifice to praise God for the beautiful blessings. 53:3) so that He might bear our grief and carry away … God has made it clear in his Word what a person needs to do to be healthy. Well said Brother! I believe that grief becomes sin when I choose to turn my face away from God and only toward my sorrow. I lost my son my son to cancer 3 months ago. Travel the road with him and discover the kind of friend he is to you. He described what happens in our bodies when we get angry: capillaries restrict, the heart has to work much harder, hormone levels are negatively affected, we become less reasonable, and our bodies become slower to heal, and experience poorer pulmonary function. (He was 17 when he died.). I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. Part of it had to do with David’s repentant heart, but the bigger reason is David had a deep love for God and this was shown through the grief he felt over other’s sins. If I am holding it and dragging it with me toward the foot of the cross, that’s not sin. 65 Grief Quotes To Help Cope With Loss 1. Rivers of water run down from my eyes, because men do not keep Your law. It was pretty hard to believe, but some scientists claimed chronic anger may be more dangerous than smoking and obesity as factors contributing to early death. He was unable to find a remedy until he made a full confession before the throne of heavenly grace. Praying you feel the Lord’s love, mercy and grace wash over your wounded heart. I feel guilty for missing work today, but I needed time to grieve. If mourning is an appropriate time to fast, and you happen to be mourning over your sin, then it could be appropriate to fast too. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. As for grief, you’ll find it comes in waves. Receive a FREE Copy of Seven Biblical Insights for Healthy, Joyful, Christ Centered Marriages, Seven Biblical Insights for Healthy, Joyful, Christ Centered Marriages, Eternally Minded Mamas One-Month Devotional and Journal. Great post Pastor! "Being grieved for the hardness of their hearts. Great thoughts: yes, if we’re truly sorry (a godly sorrow versus worldly sorrow – 2 Cor 7:10), we should lose our appetite like you did for the chips. ❤, I do not know why anyone would think grief is sin. And in Yerushalayim you are comforted.”. I called out of work today, I just couldn’t do it today. God’s Word is filled with tremendous spiritual, mental, emotional and physical ways to be blessed. The writer of Hebrews speaks of bringing the “sacrifice of praise” (Hebrews 13:15). The bible also tells us not to worry, and there’s plenty of evidence to show the physical harm in worrying. Thank you so much for posting this. And while those acts (or others like them) are small when compared to the big evils of the world, anything you do that God doesn’t like is sin, and the punishment is eternal suffering. If I turn my heart and face toward the One Who made me and trust that even in this painful place He is carrying me and will care for me, that’s not sin. No one has said to me that grief is sin, but for some reason I wrestle with this question internally. This example deals with one of the wickedest groups of people in the Old Testament. Melanie you wii never know how much you have helped me! Navigating through disappointment, betrayal, loss, death, sin, failure and trials involves heartache. But even this I know that God understands and loves me still. {Ibid.} The reasons are interesting. When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with wreckage all around you. Then he started talking about avoiding things like bitterness, anger, and even unforgiveness. That’s why it’s critical to share these truths with you now, even in the midst of your grief. What a terrible twisting of the grace of God. It’s the widow’s mite-it’s everything I’ve got. It surprised me the first time I read it. And, even though God never intended the human heart to suffer grief, He included instructions and promises in His Word to help us through it . Not at first, mind you -everyone is “allowed” a certain amount of time to get over the loss of a dream, the loss of a job, the loss of health or the loss of a loved one. Ahab was one of the wickedest men in the Old Testament. When Adam and Eve, and even the world into which they were created, knew not sin, they knew not grief. 1. The danger in running from grief, however, is that it can actually hinder us in our relationship with God, with others and with ourselves. This echos everything I have felt for 2 years since losing my son, Noah. Praise God for his goodness and providence in our lives! in the community of believers that think grief is sin. Again, thank you for your ministry to other grieving parents! Thank you so much for this article. And yet Jesus wept for and with Mary and Martha. She wears a long white turtle neck dress, with ruffles on the hem. ❤. To learn how grief over our sin produces repentance, listen to this sermon I delivered as a guest preacher…. "The reality is that you will grieve forever. Tinling's Illustrations. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. When we lose those dear to us—no matter how vibrant their testimony—we have a natural grief that shouldn’t be discounted. Listen to these words from David following his sin: This past week I was watching a health lecture on YouTube. The inside of her dress is yellow, and she wears a frilly green cape tied with a large bow of the same color over her dress. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation. I have faith. First, we […] Your heart is so tender and that is why you cry. you drag your limping soul to church on Sunday and sit silent during worship, tears streaming, as the rest of the congregation heartily affirms all the things you now wrestle with every day. ALL the time? This implies that, since God knows what is best, we can accept that and not be concerned with what happens. Post was not sent - check your email addresses! GRIEF AT SIN. Sorrow and missing my son is not sin. While emotionally painful, the natural grieving process helps us heal. This touched my heart deeply this morning Melanie! Isaiah 61:2 to proclaim the acceptable year of יהוה, and the day of vengeance of our Elohim, to comfort all who mourn, Isaiah 66:10 “Rejoice with Yerushalayim, and be glad with her, all you who love her; rejoice greatly with her, all you who mourn for her; Isaiah 66:13 “As one whom his mother comforts, so I comfort you. Grieving the loss of an old beloved sin is just one example of the value of grieving. Praying that the Lord lifts you up and encircles you with His loving arms. Because He is worth it. I am hopeful. View all posts by Melanie. But God is walking it with me. For a time, especially at the beginning, grief occupied most of my field of vision. It is sin’s presence in the world that makes grief a common experience. Jesus’ grief culminated in an unthinkable judicial drama that wiped out the sin and eternal misery of his people. This is an awful thing to happen at your church if all places!! I try not to let my mind stay focused on my questions. Grief and sorrow are a result of sin “ … sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned ” (Romans 5:12) When God had created the world, including the plants, animals and humans, … And I come away knowing that even if I don’t understand everything about God, I still believe and place my faith in him. As a brief aside, while grief and weeping from such are blameworthy passions, only the consent of the will to despondency is sin. And all you can do is float. Thus, in grief, God responds in judgment against sin, yet bestows saving grace and mercy on Noah and his family (Gen 6:7-8). Isaiah 66:2 “And all these My hand have made, and all these that exist,” declares יהוה. Grief is inevitable, individual, painful, cumulative, normal and hard work—and it comes like the ebb and flow of ocean waves. Before Babylon destroyed Jerusalem and took the Jews into exile, God chose to spare some men by putting marks on their foreheads. Rebecca J. Shefchek. It’s normal to mourn with broken hearts and sadness. Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. In the above two situations with Ahab and the Ninevites, their actions clearly pleased God. ” (2 Corinthians 7:10) It is depressing when we realize how sinful we are in God’s eyes. He is well-acquainted with grief and he has entered into the hell of your sin in order to bring you back to the land of the living and loving. It wasn’t until another grieving mom asked the question that I realized there are some (many?) On this one occasion only is the expression used with reference to Jesus—(what intensity of emotion does it denote, spoken of a sinless nature! ALL the time? Your mention of nausea and sickness made me think of the dog returning to its vomit and the way that pictures our return to sin. Your eternal destiny is at stake. Scripture contains many individuals who experienced grief over sin, whether their own sin, or the sin around them. Grief is not sin. He knew His Father’s purpose was to show his authority over death. But it wasn’t their fasting that moved God: Is fasting an appropriate response to sin for us? So sad. Strung around her neck is a large golden key of unknown purpose. I cry every Sunday during Mass- especially after Holy Communion….. One study showed individuals with the highest levels of anger had twice the risk of coronary artery disease and three times the risk of heart attack. No! Your tears bear witness to your love for your son. I too, believe our loving God sees our heart and understands our pain, and I know He is patient with his children. I also start to feel guilty for questioning God, but that is the enemy. And I can’t make up a tidy wrapped up package for other people’s consumption. I am reading this, while in bed. Scripture contains many individuals who experienced grief over sin, whether their own sin, or the sin around them. God sees the heart and hopefully with His help over time, He can lessen the unbearable to the bearable. I think anything has the potential to be sin. Psalm 32:5. I’m so sorry they are not helping to comfort you during this time!! I hope Hector gets off o.k. By the time I got home, up came the chips followed by a very uncomfortable acid reaction. You don’t fast or grieve over sin to be forgiven. Hi Rebecca, Grief definitely takes many forms, thanks for sharing your example. Learn how your comment data is processed. “Yet to such a one I look: on him who is poor and bruised of spirit, and who trembles at My Word. Jesus cried out, “My God, My God, Why have You forsaken Me?” as He bore the full weight of sin and sorrow of the world. When we worship God in our grief and declare him worthy of our trust, even in our deepest sorrows — when we choose to rest in his goodness and sovereignty, even when our circumstances feel hopeless — we bring glory to his name. "Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus." Then everyone who went in fear of the words of the God of Israel, because of the sin of those who had come back, came together to me; and I kept where I was, overcome with grief, till the evening offering. “The whole creation groans” (mourns, grieves) “to be set free from bondage to decay”. The Hebrew root for "grieve, " nhm [ ;j"n ], communicates a mixture of divine indignation against sin and a heartfelt anguish concerning the plight of his creation. It just hurts. Not at first, mind you-everyone is “allowed” a certain amount of time to get over the loss of a dream, the loss of a job, the loss of health or the loss of a loved one. If they should …heaven forbid!! Your email address will not be published. I just found your blog a few days ago and it has been a blessing to my weary soul. And yet, since the entry of sin into the world, not only have all experienced sin because of Adam (Rom. May He overwhelm your broken heart with His grace, love and mercy. How is this book different from your last book, “On Grief and Grieving," co-authored with Elisabeth Kubler-Ross? If I allow my heart, mind and soul to focus exclusively on what I’ve lost instead of what I’m promised through Jesus Christ, that is sin. Death is awful and the redemption of what was lost in the Fall cost God His only son. Jesus Himself wept at the death of His friend Lazarus in John 11:35. I stopped at a little convenience store and bought a bag of barbecued potato chips. This isn’t instructive for us. Do we experience grief over our sin? Grief is not sin. Inexpressible grief. It requires us to feel our way through the sense of loss produced by suffering. in the community of believers that think grief is sin. Thank you for writing this blog. I’m thankful the words spoke courage to your heart. Never Discount True Grief. Hi Jeff, Thanks again for some Old Testament verses that relate to the post. Grief belongs to the land of sin. Paul said, “We do not grieve as those who have no hope”  NOT  “we do not grieve”. Your email address will not be published. What???? I’m so sorry this has happened!! Here is … It’s not the only time I’ve heard of something like this and it hurts my heart-for you, obviously-but also for the others who think grief is a sin. I cry in church because I can’t believe I have the privilege of worshiping Him while hurting like this and that while it cost me something to worship while in pain, it truly means something and yes, it is totally worth it. The problem is that we don’t listen and are disobedient! Does God protect the ones He loves? When the song You’re a Good, Good Father is on the radio or sung at church, I can’t force the words from my mouth. “We bring the sacrifice of praise….” What sacrifice have you made lately? By His divine power He really has given us all things pertaining to life and godliness! And especially, draw near to Jesus as you grieve. I suspect he also wept for the devastation of death and separation from our Father. Possibly before hearing the Gospel? When godly grief over sin produces repentance, repentance leads to salvation. Is Grieving A Sin? It’s that huge. It also tells us that, because Jesus is a man of sorrow and acquainted with grief, we are not alone in our grief. David's grief for sin was bitter. I know in Heaven I will fully know as I am fully known. Our new nature in Christ feels sick about anything we do or say that is outside of God’s will, the way those chips made my body feel poorly. [Obedience brings] health to your body and nourishment to your bones. Grief is not a brain problem, but part of the human condition. [God said], ‘Because he has humbled himself before Me, I will not bring the calamity in his days.’”. We don’t normally think of the physical benefits of obedience. Is God good? (Romans 8:21-22). For in Adam we all sinned, and in Adam we all died (Rom. We sit in the back of the church but I guess the tears that flow were offensive to the church leadership. But I am honest with God and continue to wrestle with Him with all my questions and confusion. Its effects were visible on his outward frame: His bones wasted away; his strength dried up like the drought of summer. One theory is that if we trust God in all things, grief should never enter our minds. Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email. It wasn’t until another grieving mom asked the question that I realized there are some (many?) Just what I needed. The closest verse would be Jesus’ words about fasting when mourning: “The days will come when the bridegroom will be taken away from them; then they will fast in those days.”. He became sin for the fallen race. Today is inside …….So many are sick and a couple of people have a low form of pneumonia. Nothing to be ashamed of. We lost our youngest son, Luke, about 16 months ago, after a two year battle with cancer. It’s scary and messy. Around fifteen years after Ezra’s day, Nehemiah led the third and final return of Jews back into the land. GRIEF AT SIN. That we will spend the rest of our lives feeling empty and broken. I believe this took place in the spiritual realm, but was played out in the physical realm: The Lord said to [the angels], “Go through the midst of the city, through the midst of Jerusalem, and put a mark on the foreheads of the men who sigh and cry over all the abominations that are done within it.”. Individuals with severe grief or complicated grief could benefit from the help of a psychologist or another licensed mental health professional with a specialization in grief. By Eric Taylor Pastor, Cedar Hill Baptist Church, Cedar Hill Focal Passage: Psalm 116:1-9; 15-17 The focal point of our lesson for this week, is that God is with us and restores us in times of trouble, sorrow, and grief. You are a grieving mother. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If Jesus could grieve to the point of perspiring blood yet also trusting in the garden and it wasn’t sin then I think we have a shepherd and high priest who can handle our grief even if others can’t, Thank you Melanie! Unbelievers have no such struggles or griefs. It wasn’t until another grieving mom asked the question that I realized there are some (many?) Their examples can challenge us! For years I wanted nothing to do with barbecued potato chips and even the smell of them reminded me of my bad experience. But carry that sadness and wounded heart too publicly for too long and you better be ready for someone to question your faith. Grief At Sin. Few titles in Scripture – if any – can rival what God called David: “a man after My Own heart” (1 Samuel 13:14; Acts 13:22). 5:19), but all have experienced the grief that sin brings. The Father sent a messenger I believe in the Resurection. God has a standard for the redeemed to live by and we fail... often (Philippians 1:27). It doesn’t mean I don’t believe Him, it just means I don’t understand Him. We have been very fortunate at our church to have a understandING and loving congregation! May the Lord give you the strength you need for each day and may He fill your heart with His love, grace and mercy. While it seemed to please God in the Old Testament, we don’t see it commanded, encouraged, or even modeled in the New Testament as an appropriate response to sin. (This is a very small church and today’s sermon was obviously agenda driven and directed at us.) When trudging along this road it is easy to long for a pleasant surprise, a happier time around the bend. The doctor was talking about ways to avoid disease. Usually we just think of obeying God affecting us spiritually, and perhaps mentally or emotionally. But the fact that there is a struggle with sin, and a sense of grief because of sin, is good. 5:12). If I continue to wrestle, like Jacob-clinging and begging for the blessing-I am not sinning when I walk away with the limp the wound leaves behind. I’ve been under that burden before that you mentioned, and yes, confession and repentance is the only relief. He loves His children also and can do anything . 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